This is driving me nuts.

You know, I was planning to post this as my Facebook status, but that would've been attracting too much attention to myself. So yeah, I'm gonna write it out here. It would've been more expressive had I done this an hour ago when I woke up (yes, I woke up around 1 today, so be it) but I found it more important to go eat first and YouTube Elliot Minor (as introduced to me by Harshiah, they're just AWESOME! =D). So here it goes.

I had yet another dream last night. Even in the DREAM, I tried talking to you. Even in the DREAM, you still ignore my attempt at making conversation. Even in the DREAM, I ended up talking to someone else, laughing with someone else when all I ever wanted was to talk to you, to laugh with you. Even in the DREAM, all you did was sit at the sidelines, looking indifferent, but you were still there. You're always just there. Even in the DREAM, it still hurt. How is this fair? How can I just keep feeling like this? I want to tell you, I actually do. But isn't it kinda hard when you don't even talk to me, except for the occasional comment here and there?

Almost every night, you seem to a part of my dreams. At one point it really was every night. When it stopped I thought I was finally over you. I guess not, huh, when it keeps coming back to me? And apparently Facebook makes an effort to show me a lot of posts from you on my news feed. It's like the whole world wants me to suffer. The wrong person is paying attention to me. The wrong person is giving me compliments. The wrong person is making an attempt at being close friends with me.

Frankly, I don't care who reads this. You want to figure it out? You think you know who I'm talking about? (Aside from the people who actually know who I'm talking about, and that's only about 5 other people.) Fine, whatever. But what I do know is that I want to find away to end this, because it's eating me from the inside.

You see, this is why I didn't want to post this on Facebook. Hardly anything is private on Facebook. I didn't want to start a speculation. I didn't want that person to find out through that way, not that's it's really that hard to figure out who it is, if you pay attention to me.

Does he read my blog? I doubt it. Sometimes I think it's a good thing, but sometimes I wish he did. I don't know what to think anymore on this topic.

Ohh and I realised just recently that I have a soft spot for guitarists. XD

Some things you find out about yourself when you try to sleep at night..