Depression

Ahh, I feel like I've abandoned this blog! (Though my last post was about 2 weeks ago)

I guess you could call that abandoning. What can I say? I'm just too busy. =(

One thing that should come to no surprise, I'm depressed.

I hate being depressed.

And yet I'm depressed over so many things!

I see depression in everything I look at.

School.

I always feel so lazy to wake up in the morning. I absolutely HATE my school bus. It's too packed with people, I always never get a seat, so I'm left standing on the bus for an average of two hours every day (including when I go back by bus).

My class is separated from the other Form 4s. We have to stay next to the ever-so-noisy 3B. Makes it extremely hard to concentrate especially if the teacher speaks softly.

We can't make noise either because 4B is supposed to be the "good" class. We get scolded for being noisy even though we aren't, by comparison to other classes.

WHY MUST WE BE UNDER SO MUCH EXPECTATION?!

Homework.

I'm not exactly complaining about the amount of homework we're getting. I admit it's a lot, but it's nothing I can't handle for the time being. It's just the very idea of getting homework is what's depressing me. (You could call it my mindset) ;P

Friends.

Well, to begin with, I don't have many friends I'm comfortable with no matter what. The person who I'm most comfortable with now might be moving to SM Sains Seri Puteri. I'm happy for her for getting the offer and all, but I really don't want her to go. =(

All of my other close friends are in the NEXT class. In a completely different block. The only time I ever get to see them is during recess and after school. IF I HAVE ANY TIME.

Home.

As usual, no one's at home. Only at night. The only time I spend with my family now is when I stay in front of the TV to watch American Idol with them. And dinner time. That's basically it.

Love life.

What can I say about this? There's no hope in hell that I'm ever going to get a boyfriend. A crush, at least. Nothing. Nada. Zilch.

And seeing everyone else have a boyfriend makes me even more depressed! I'm doomed to stay single until.. after I leave school I guess. And when will that be? AGES FROM NOW. >=(

Aging.

I'm gonna be sixteen in June. Where did the time go? I wish I was a little kid again where I couldn't care less if I annoyed people. (which I notice is absolutely true with kids between the ages of 4 - 10) The whole bus thing. I actually learned something from the horrible experience. =.="

Everything I tell you, EVERYTHING!!!!

And tomorrow I've got an exam. EVEN BETTER. (Note the sarcasm.)

I find plenty of opportunities to be sarcastic now. Easy when you're so pissed off at everything.